Thursday, March 12, 2009


What is it that is deep inside our human natures, embedded in our souls, that causes us to seek out, to whatever end, LOVE from others? Why are we so empty, such FRAGILE broken beings? We're so helpless, so easily lured in by pretty words or a reaffirming touch or just the idea of having someone say that you are good. Some seek this love in girls, some in athletics, some in acceptance, some in themselves, but no matter how far I run and how much I try to do, I cannot fill this void inside my being. It is constantly empty, no matter how many youth group events I go to, no matter how many Settlers of Catan or Risk games I play (and win) with the guys, no matter how many songs I listen to, and no matter how hard I try to stuff myself with things that FEEL good. None of it is keeping my appetites satisfied! I know this all, but my life is a constant cycle of reminding myself what I know and trying to get it to connect with my heart. I fail and I fail again yet I don't learn long enough before I screw things up all over again. C.S. Lewis put things in perspective best when he compared our desires for earthly love to making mudpies in a slum. We think that our methods, our ways are so perfect, so succinct! For some reason we are amazingly proud of ourselves! Look at the culture around us, we market sex and money and popularity as if it is this amazing, achievable thing that any person with an american dream can fulfill. And this cancer infects our thinking, creates in our minds these amazing dreams, dreams of becoming rockstars, having families, getting the girl, all that jazz. What is so great about these dreams? Do we believe, do we HONESTLY believe that the realization of such aspirations would be enough? The reality is, we are in the midst of a realm of creation that is not meant to be its own food. We - created things - try to in essence consume created things with a strange belief that it will make us happy. We live in a culture that believes that what we have is all there is. No wonder we're making mudpies in a slum. We don't comprehend that mud and slums are the lowest of the low. We haven't seen better. Or we've forgotten...we are so quick to forget.



When we encounter God's love it is an amazing feeling, an experience not easy to forget. Yet at our weakest moments we seem to scramble for a memory, a glimpse of what that was like...But the truth is that

God's love is on a completely, entirely different paradigm than any of our minds, hearts, souls, technology, intellects can comprehend or imagine. It's like music and salsa, they just do not compare whatsoever. Yet our Gracious God bridged this seemingly impossible gap with analogies and experiences that strain and reach for the Truth. His word is full of them. Maybe we need to read to remember.

Since when did our gaze fall so low to each other? Let's fix it back on Him. There is a whole realm that we have barely touched into...we've barely tapped into the mystics of the supernatural, of miracles and encounters that some humans could not even dream to be possible. Yet all we must do is believe.

We have the option of living every day to its maximum potential, encountering God's love every second. IF we are willing. If we are listening, watching. If we make the simple but sometimes painful choice to PRAISE GOD in EVERY season, every circumstance, simply because He deserves it.

People were never meant to satisfy each others' cravings for Love...that can only be found in Him...then after in Him, He may just choose to pour out more of that love, which only comes from Him, through something or someone else.

"In heaven there will be no anguish, and no duty of turning away from our earthly beloveds - first, because we will have already turned from the portraits to the original, from the rivulets to the fountain, from the creatures He made lovable to Love Himself. But secondly, because shall find them all in Him. And by loving Him more than them, we shall love them more than we do now. All that we experience of Love on earth is but an echo of what we will one day experience."
- Crishan Jeyaratnam

The pain in life is the moments we struggle to feel the Love we so desperately need. But I have found a hope in anguish no dark night can damper. No matter what happens, I will hold to one thing - Christ's resurrection from the Grave, His love displayed for all to see, this glorious gospel of which I am somehow the center. His Love. His love is my confidence, and in confidence I will live. No longer in fear, but in faith. He is my Lord.

"A golden moment's come to pass, and it made a swift goodbye.
Waved its hand from left to right, saying bye, farewell, goodnight.
But it left me brave and bold like the knights of ages past,
Leaving courage like the dawn leaves dew upon the grass.
As morning glories bloom so do some things in life this way.
Rising early but well past noon, they weaken die and fade.
But there's many perspective buds still clinging to the vine,
Waiting in patience to show their glory at later times.

Oh, I got what I wanted, and I'll be afraid no more. I'll face all these toxic things, because I have finally found my bravery."

- weaver at the loom

It's time to face the battle.
The end is near.
But more than any impending doom or crashing sky
There is One who sees our struggles, catching every tear we cry
And knowing Him, seeing Him, can make every day so much brighter
than the one before.
He loves us, oh so much.

HE is the one I adore.