somewhere

I think somewhere along the line I forgot

who I was living for.
why I am alive.
who satisfies me.
who knows me.
who knows what is best for me.

Why do I keep trying to do things my way? I'm such an idiot. I bet angels in heaven are so frustrated with me right now! They see me trying to make choices which I think will be best for me and are shouting "NO! Don't do that! You don't know what you're doing!" Yet I blindly do my own thing, ruining my spiritual life.

I don't know what to do. I'm praying and seeking The Lord. I'm still confused. But one thing I know for sure - whatever happens in life will benefit all who love The Lord. I have no worries there. But the immediate costs or immediate repercussions bother me greatly.

It concerns me that this kind of situation I'm in spiritually has happened before, and hasn't benefited me whatsoever. I don't want to waste my time.

I'm found in Your arms of love,
Your love it has saved my soul,
I'll run to Your arms of love,
Your light's gonna lead me home

Father, lead US home to your arms. For everyone I know - to love them...to TRULY love them, I surrender EVERYTHING to love you more.