I'm Done.

I've gotta do it nike style.

God, here as I sit upstairs, I know you're looking at me with so much affection and jealousy. I've been thinking about our relationship...and I realize things are getting serious. The thing is, I know you have so much awesome stuff planned out for me, but I do so many things that keep me from even seeing the amazing plans you have. I'm not gonna hinder myself from getting to You any more. I'm ready to give you everything. God, I know that what you have for me is infinitely better and more satisfying than anything else in creation or anything I can seek. I'm gonna seek you.

I think that God's got some floodgates right over my head, and I want him to dump Himself out on me...but it won't happen until the day I choose Him over myself. And that day is today. God you can have anything. It's all yours if you want it.

Why is surrender such a hard concept to get inside my head? Why are we humans so inherently stubborn and thick-skinned? Is that sin? I think that's probably it. How else could we be so supernaturally stubborn? Every day there's a new way to surrender myself to Him. In other words, I'm constantly finding new parts of my character or my life that aren't His. I'm keeping them for myself instead of giving Him control.

Jesus, please change me from who I've been lately. Cause I've been here far too long. I'm not sure, but I don't think I miss that life. But I know that I'm nothing without you.